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The ‘secret service' of Colombian hotel rooms
April 23, 2012 - Ron Hart
NAPA VALLEY, Calif.
Distracting President Obama from scouting vacation spots for Michelle with South American leaders at the Summit of the Americas meetings were 11 advance Secret Service agents subsequently sent home — with pay, of course, unlike their hookers.
It seems a prostitute and one of the federal government officials were arguing because he did not pay the “lady of the evening” properly. The lesson here is clear: Never involve yourself with sleazy people to begin with. I trust the hooker learned her lesson.
The agent and the hooker argued over her $47 price. I wish the government were as stingy with our tax dollars. If she had been a government-procured hooker she would have cost $2,500 — and because of union seniority rules, she would have been 64 years old.
Maybe the Colombian hookers were paid with counterfeit drug money seized by the Secret Service. Suspicions arose when the $50 bill used to pay the prostitute had a picture on it of Ulysses S. Grant wearing a baseball cap on backward.
Per The Wall Street Journal, the whole scandal was uncovered “when one of the women stayed in an agent’s hotel room past 7 a.m., in violation of hotel policy.” It seems a Third World hotel has a more effective policing policy than our own government agencies.
This is the most embarrassing thing to happen to the White House since news of the GSA $820,000 western regional conference boondoggle broke two weeks ago.
Prostitution is legal in certain parts of Cartagena called “tolerance zones,” which explains why this city hosted politicians from 32 countries and why Charlie Sheen has asked to be transferred to Promises Cartagena.
It has long been the unwritten code among government workers not to rat each other out. That might mess up their sweet gig. What happens in Colombia stays in Colombia — or Las Vegas — except for the STD, which comes home with you.
Boys will be boys, especially macho types who gravitate toward jobs involving guns. I get that. My dad was a cop; I know most do noble work.
My beef is that the agents got there a week in advance and stayed at a five-star, beachfront hotel. Our GSA conference attendees had hotel rooms that cost more than $2,000 a night in Las Vegas, where they usually comp idiots. The bigger question is, why are we paying for all of this?
And who investigates the CIA, IRS, TSA, the Federal Reserve, FBI or the Secret Service? There are now more than 6,500 Secret Service employees, and we still have just one president. This over-the-top Praetorian Guard for our president should, like all parts of bloated government agencies, be cut back. They all start with some grandiose mission — in this case, to protect the president. Then they grow unchecked into monstrous bureaucracies accountable for neither their results nor their use of taxpayer money. I don’t care what they did to the hooker — just stop doing it to us taxpayers.
Every four years agents are called upon to protect presidential candidates. Resources are assigned to candidates based on the importance put on them by, of course, the government. This ranges from full Secret Service protection for Mitt Romney to Ron Paul, who was given some nunchucks and told to be careful.
Rick Santorum was eventually assigned Secret Service coverage; it was the first time he had ever used protection. Glitter was thrown on Newt Gingrich by gay activists and he got protection. On the bright side, the whole episode was nominated for a Tony Award.
Herman Cain got Secret Service protection, but that was just to shield him from his wife after news of his indiscretions surfaced.
Secret Service officers recently caught ducks slipping on to the White House grounds. The birds were escorted off after background checks found that they had not donated enough money to the Obama re-election campaign to merit that much access to the president.
Who can forget the couple who sneaked into the White House state dinner for the Indian ambassador? Apparently, bouncers at nightclubs do a better job of keeping out the unwanted. The Secret Service immediately addressed that lapse by changing its policy. No longer are people allowed into such events by just saying, “Oh come on, dude, Michelle Obama promised we could come.”
Ron Hart is a libertarian syndicated op-ed humorist, award-winning author and TV/radio commentator. He can be reached at Ron@RonaldHart.com or visit www.RonaldHart.com
Read more: http://www.newsherald.com/articles/service-102117-secret-americas.html#ixzz1ssTX9xUl
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